On 5 June, I got married to my Chinese boyfriend. We were then together for 3 months and it felt the right thing. It went really fast, because we were just trying to get the right papers. Actually, it went a bit like this:
One evening I wanted to talk to him about our future. I wanted to have the serious talk, that was somewhere in May. He then said that right on that same day, he went to the Chinese government to see what we have to do to get married. I replied kinda like: “Oh, so, we are going to marry?” And he said: “Yeah, Why not? It’s going to be easy, we don’t need many documents.”
That was the world’s least romantic proposal, I guess. A couple of weeks later he told me that he had to confess a secret. When he was in Nepal, he bought a ruby for me and a sapphire for him and he wanted to take them to the summit of Mt. Everest. Back to base camp, I would be waiting for him there and he would propose to me then. That was really romantic, but, because of the earthquake, he lost the stones and he was really down because of it.
Next year, April 2016, he will climb again and I will wait for him in base camp and he wants to do the proposal right then, but he said that we can already get married now and get the rings next year. That was the most romantic thing I ever heard and that is why I love him: he is very pragmatic, but then all of a sudden he surprises me with some deep heartfelt emotions.
So, after our serious talk in May, I set to work to get the right document from the Belgian government. After a couple of weeks, I could get the document in the consulate in Guangzhou, as it had to be translated there in Chinese. At the consulate they told me that this was not enough. I needed many more documents. On our way back to Shenzhen, we were a bit down, especially me, because I hate this bureaucratic going-around (as many people I am sure) and I was not looking forward at sending emails to different Belgian government departments to get the right papers. Back in Shenzhen, we went to the marriage registration bureau to ask which papers we really needed. And… you won’t believe it, after half an hour we stood outside: Married! We didn’t need the other papers, there were no witnesses (in Belgium you need at least 2 witnesses to co-sign the marriage) and no rings. I was a bit in a daze, didn’t fully understand what just happened, but also very happy that we were husband and wife without much bureaucratic hassle.
In the evening, Eric, my husband (still feels weird to call him that) told me that it was not romantic so far, but he wanted to get the unromantic part out of the way and then we could fully focus on the romantic part: our wedding party and honeymoon.
Eric is from Sichuan and we will have our honeymoon there first: a few weeks traveling by car through the province, do several trekkings in the mountains and then on August 22 we will have our wedding party in Sichuan. Next weekend, 4 July we will finally start our honeymoon. I am so looking forward to it, because the bureaucratic mill is still going on. I need a new visa, but because my passport is only valid for another year, it would be better to just renew my work visa, which need, again, many papers and we were waiting for a few weeks again to see if we could go on a holiday. We will go, even though, my passport will still be in process of the new visa and will be at the PSB, but I guess with a copy of my passport and if we don’t take any flights it will be ok.
Then, we started to look at wedding clothes,…. Aahhhh, I didn’t know! Many Chinese marry Western style now, in a white dress, but I told him that I don’t mind to marry in a Chinese wedding dress, which I thought was red, but still elegant. When he showed me the picture of what he had in mind, my eyes almost fell out of my head and I exclaimed: “No way! You don’t get me in THAT!” (see picture) So, we compromised. We will wear that for some of our wedding pictures and I will marry in a mild, elegant version of the traditional dress.
I can see that our life will be interesting and colourful, because of all the differences. As long as we can talk about it and have a laugh, it will be ok.
I am looking forward to the rest of our life together! It is going to be a great adventure!